So, as some of you might now, I have been seeing this lovely boy named Jake for about a month now. He’s been absolutely perfect, always texting me all day every day and driving up from his house to see me. It’s at least an hour drive, with no traffic, both ways, from his house to mine; and there’s always traffic. But recently I’ve been feeling like I did something and now he’s distancing himself before he breaks it to me that he never wants to see me again.
But maybe I’m being paranoid.
But anywho, this is where things get personal. He and I took the plunge almost two weeks ago, well, it was a plunge for me, not him. We both were ready and I trusted him completely. It was horrible to be honest, I cried at one point, but he was amazing about it. He just held me and then drove me home afterwards, always making sure I was okay. This is where the trouble started.
The next day I asked him what we were and he admitted that he would say we were dating, but not boyfriend and girlfriend. Well this kind of was like a punch to the gut for me, because I thought of us as boyfriend and girlfriend, and I’d call him my boyfriend when people asked. So I was a little miffed and didn’t talk to him for the rest of the day until finally when I got home from work, being careful to avoid the subject completely.
The next day it was just… different. He wouldn’t respond for hours on end until finally I sent him a text that basically said, “look, if got what you wanted and you’re done with me, just say it and I’ll stop bugging you.” He acted like I was speaking Chinese, saying that he really did like me, did I not trust him, that sort of thing. I told him I did, but if you know me, you know I’m used to guys just using me to get what they want and then leaving me on the curb. It’s just the way I am, to me there’s always another girl that the guy is chomping at the bit to get and I’m second best. So basically, I’m just insecure as fuck.
So I told him this, and I apologized, saying that if I didn’t trust him I never would have let him be my first and then we changed the subject again. But after that he’s always taken hours to talk to me unless it’s something dirty. And even though he’s still sweet whenever he’s around, telling me I’m beautiful and that I look like an angel all the time, I still can’t help but feel like something wrong. I used to wake up every morning to a little text that said “good morning beautiful” and now I have to wait six hours to get a one word response.
I can’t help but wonder if it had something to do with him going back to Illinois this weekend, where he used to go to school, and where his ex lives. She I guess left him for his friend, and he had just started dating again when we met, which is why I figured he’s so hesitant to be in a relationship. I know he was absolutely crazy about her, and she’s freaking stunning (think blond Emma Stone) and I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help but compare myself to her all the time and I always lose. I'm worried that maybe he decided he's not really over her and doesn't know how to break it to me gently. Or that I don't stack up and he just doesn't want to see me anymore.
I probably sound like a complete babbling psycho right now and I apologize, but I literally have no idea what to do.
Help?
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