^ Lol.
So, I'm currently going through an obsession craze? Anyone with me?
^Me right now during obsession.
Okay, so I'm totally bugging. I've been wanting a boyfriend, so instead of getting one, I decided I'd become a fangirl and fangirl one of my favorite people because I haven't done so in forever.
Who am I fangirling? Oh well.....>.> I erm....He's so fucking gorgeous.
^Yes, yes, well I will.
Okay, so you guessed it. Bam Margera. <3
He may be an asshole, but I don't give a fuck. For one, he can be very endearing at some points. I feel like, yeah, he kind of was with Missy and then those whores, but whatever. Missy was kind of snooty anyways, and I don't care for Nicole Boyd much either.
But I love Bam. ;D
Plus, his show and the fanfictions have totally gotten me right out of my depression, almost. I still crave someone to hold me. But, that's a different story. I'm just tired of feeling like this.
AND I'M DEFINITELY SICK OF THIS SHIT!
But, yeah. It's just awful to be depressed. It's like this sea that you just keep falling into. It's developing you and by the time you swim out of one wave, another wave comes and sweeps you back under. And you feel the pressure squeezing your chest so hard, and then your mind is gone. And the salty tears are just flowing.
I don't really know why I'm depressed. I've never been one to fall and want a boyfriend, but I'm just lonely. But I'm so shy and quiet. I've never been loud enough to ask someone out.
GUESS WHAT?
I'm so working on a Bam fanfiction of my own! I've never written a fanfiction, so I'm excited.
I've actually researched Bam the past few days. I took quizzes and shit, and realized I'm a stalker. ;D
I feel like I would write a crappy fanfiction if I didn't know like everything about him...turns out I already knew everything.
I'm very excited though. I'm in a writing mood today. I wanna write ten chapters before I post it. Just because I have school now, and I'm not sure when I'll be able to write, so I'm just going to get working on it for a couple months and hope I'll be able to write when school gets flowing.
So far, I'm auditioning my characters. I'm planning on having a brother in the fanfic, and so far this guy is who my first audition is....tell me what you think....does he look crazy and tattooed enough to be friends with Bam?
I don't even know if anyone reads my blogs. But, I like to pretend like people do. Lmao.
My plot so far is basically the whole love/hate relationship thing. I love those. ^-^
And it would seem like it would work well, just because of the stupid shit Bam and his crew does. I'm not sure at what point of time I'm going to start the story from. Maybe right after him and Missy get married and lead it to where they divorce, but making them divorce earlier than they did, if you get what I'm saying.
ANYWAYS GONNA CONCLUDE THIS SHIT WITH THIS FUNNY AS FUCK SHIT HERE :
Rest in Peace Ryan Dunn. </3
ALSO ONE MORE THING, I genuinely hope Bam gets better soon. I watch his Youtube, and it depresses me. He seems....like he's lost his heart. He just seems weak, and strung out on drugs. -sigh-
I just wish he had his best friend, and he probably does too.
XOXO,
Maddy BE YOUR OWN HERO