blog rant

I'm starting to think that I'm doing something wrong, or maybe its just a question of if something is wrong with me.

I tend to have a knack for being friends with people who just plainly treat me like shit. My first major friendship that failed was revived a couple months ago, and now I'm starting to see why it is we stopped being friends in the first place.
From the beginning of high school this girl was my best friend, by my side through most of life's challenges, but every time a boy shows the slightest interest in her, she completely forgets herself and also her friends.
First high school relationships it's normal to be all caught up in it, and she was for two years. No matter what I did our friendship just slipped from my fingers.
Once that relationship ended I of courses messaged her offering her a shoulder, and now i'm starting to regret that decision.
As time passed, it was like our friendship never had that two year hiatus, we picked up right where we left off. We spoke everyday for hours and hours on end. It felt like I finally found that friendship I was looking for. I decided to introduce her to my boyfriend & his fairly popular band & that is of course when things started to go downhill. My intuition was acting up, I felt she would do the same thing as years ago...

I went back to college and she got herself hired for work, where she met a boy, who just so happened to be in a band. She then slowly started to fade away. Since she's met him its like I no longer exist. I'm only there for when she needs someone to vent to about how she has a crush on him but he has a girlfriend and the typical bullshit crap you hear about a guy flirting with a girl while in a relationship. I consoled her through it even though when I had a problem, it didn't seem to matter to her as long as she got to talk about herself.
Normally, I am a very friendly person and am always the happiest and supportive to my friends. I put them before myself.

Long story short, more events happened that had me questioning whether our friendship meant as much as she says it did to her. I pulled her out of the gutter when her first relationship failed, and now that she is back on her feet (now started seeing another boy from her work friends band) it's like I am no longer even a person anymore, just someone she wanted to be life. I knew from the start that when someone better came along I would be throw to the side like a dirty dish rag, it's always been like that.

I'm starting to wonder if theres just something wrong with me, whether I'm not meant to have a close friend. Or maybe it was simply my own fault for engaging in something I knew from the start would fail. I never learn.