I Don't Know What To Do

So, my best friend is leaving for college, and I'm seriously going to miss her loads. I mean, I'll be in college too, but she'll be in a different state. She is always there for me when I need her, and I try to do the same. Though, sometimes I feel like a burden because she's always listening to me and helping me out in so many ways. Seriously, I can't thank her enough. She is extremely awesome, and last night, we went to see a movie, and she dropped me off at home. I thought I was going to see her today, but when she got out of the car to give me a hug, my heart broke because it would be the last time I see her until she gets back in November. I know, it doesn't seem that long....but, for me, it will feel like forever.

Thing is, we've only been close friends for a little over a year, and some people would think that's nuts, but she's been the friend that I've been looking for. I've dealt with so much crap, and I was tired of people taking advantage of me and treating me poorly. She came into my life and seriously changed that. She made me feel like I belonged. And I seriously can't thank her enough for being the friend she has been.

But, the thing that has been eating at my mind is thinking you know someone and then they turn around and do every possible thing to make you hate them. Now, it's not this friend that is doing it, it is more of just an observation and something that has been irritating me for a while.

Here it goes:
This person used to be a close friend of mine, but things started to change after I told them a secret of mine. I didn't realize that even though they said it wouldn't change anything and that they were cool with it, clearly they weren't. If they were, then they wouldn't ignore me or treat me like they have been. Every time we have plans, they are cancelled because something came up or they have to leave. Literally, we would have plans for months in advance only to have them be crushed last minute. But, then I see that they made plans to hang out with somebody else. And then, I try to pretend that it doesn't bother me, and so I try to hold it back. Of course, I still haven't told them what I think, but, I don't think it matters. Lately, I've started to feel way more alone and that some of the things I do are left unappreciated. Like, a simple thank you would suffice. I don't mind driving people around or showing my friends I appreciate them by planning parties and such, but it would be nice if I got a thank you. I hate planning stuff and then plastering a smile on my face to pretend that I'm not miserable when I am because some of the jokes being made hurt me. I understand that some of the things said are just to be funny, but it doesn't mean that they don't hurt.

*sigh*

Anyway, I just really don't know what to do at this point. I'm thinking about just ignoring it, but it does hurt. Like, someone who is supposed to be your friend just treating you like dirt....... I just..... I don't even know.

I can't even type everything that I want to get out because my mind just refuses to work with me. There's more than just the surface that bothers me, but I don't want to burden my friend with it because that's just more that she has to deal with on top of the stress of moving to a new school and making friends. I just want her to settle in for now.

Anyway, if anybody has any opinions on the matter, let me know. Have an awesome night.