Being overweight sucks! Low self-esteem!

A few days ago i was sitting in school in my English class, and we were having about a short story called They're Not Your Husband. I don't think any of you guys know it, but it's basically just about a man who had a overweight wife. One day he's sitting at her job (in a café/diner - or something) and two buisness men walks in, then they start talking about how fat she is and how unattractive she is. Her husband heard that, and the next morning he forced his wife to lose weight and to starve for a couple of days/weeks.

Anyway, this started a discussion in my class; my teacher asked: "Would you say to your girlfriend that she should lose weight, and how'd yo do it?"

And well then all the guys/men was like: "I'd say it to her in a nice way, and yes I would say it if she was overly overweight".

This subject made me kinda sad, because I myself is overweight (I weight about 257lb I'll admit that) and I really do try to lose weight, but my family on my mom's side IS overweight and heavily built. Therefore it really isn't easy for me to lose weight. I ride on my bicycle to school every day (it takes me about 10mins), and then I walk around on the school between the ground floor and 3rd floor - so it kinda is like exercising (of course not completely).

And well I know that I'm only 17 (soon to be 18), but this always makes me wonder:"Will I ever get a boyfriend?". I mean, I've never had a boyfriend, I've never kissed a boy/guy (only a kiss on the lips like you're grandma would give you - and it was because of a drinking game) and then I've obviously never had sex either.

And it makes me wonder a little bit extra, because the guys in Denmark is like: "my girlfriend gotta be thin like a stick". Well not completely, but they sure as h*ll don't accept a big girl like me.

My overweight also made me socially awkward (I've ALWAYS been bullied about it), I've always had trouble getting friend (at least just boy-friends). It made everything a little bit better when I got to go on boarding school, at least I made a quite good friend (male-friend) who I still talk to (he's on the same school as me now). And now this year (3 years later) I'm in a new school, and in the three weeks I've been there I've talked to quite a few people (males) without being too awkward. And before I also had HUGE problems getting up in front of the class and talk about some school-related things (just getting up and talk to the class in general), but it's quite better already though.

But this doesn't make the other thing easier. I still have in my mind that I will never get a boyfriend, and it really makes me sad.

People do tell me that I'm not fat, but I know that I am.

Just to show you some examples of how I look:


(Don't mind my face though)

(I know the picture is small - sorry)

So yeah, I kinda just wanted to share it with you guys. Sorry!