5 ways to make a preemie mother mad. + family members, your advice is appreciated, but not needed.

1) touching my baby without my permission. while her lungs may be strong, her immune system is weak. you may have germs on your hands that could harm her. don't touch her unless you ask my permission first.

2) say, "oh, my sister/ aunt etc had a preemie and they're fine," or "they're six feet tall." good for them. I don't know how Olivia will turn out. she's strong and healthy right now, but it could turn around at any moment. I get it, you're trying to be inspirational and make me feel better, but it doesn't help.

3) Say, "What's wrong with your baby?" Or, say, "What did you do during your pregnancy? Did you smoke? etc"
No, I took care of myself during my pregnancy. I can't help the fact my body can't carry babies full term, ass.

4) Say any variation of, "Oh, you're so lucky. You didn't have to deal with the last trimester!"
eff you for saying that, even if you're joking. it is so out of line. I wanted that last trimester. I didn't care how big I got, how hormonal I got or whatever problems I would have. I wanted a healthy baby, but now I have a preemie. saying this will cause me to get so mad at you I see red.

5). Say, while baby is in NICU, "Well at least you get to sleep at night/ don't have to change diapers etc"
Yeah right, I haven't slept yet besides naps. I would love to be up at night changing her diapers or doing a 2 am feeding instead of having a NICU nurse do it. I'm so glad I get to kangaroo hold her for an hour, but that's it.

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I get it, someone in my family or my boyfriend's family had a preemie and of course, they know everything there is to know about having a premature baby.
I get it. you're trying to help me. but the only people I want even around me and Olivia is my boyfriend and my mom. We are the only three people who's been able to hold her.

Don't ask "can I hold her yet? Dianna [my mom] was able to hold her!" Or Michael, my boyfriend was able to hold her.
No, you can't. When she's old enough and is released from the hospital and is healthy enough, you can hold her.

I know you're excited because it's your new grandbaby, cousin, niece/nephew, whatever, but she's my baby first. Please respect our privacy and not bug the ever loving fuck out of me by asking me stupid questions and giving me unwanted advice.
I've had a rough two days and so has she, please, I get you want to help, but it's not wanted. Thank you.