These Nightmares

I remember the dreams...
Those I had when I was sent away...when I was tortured for two years.. when I snapped..Its like the madness attracted him to me..He changed me..He made me how I am.. He was the embodiment of everything I felt... He was my fucking demon..

I remember in my dreams..he would play with me..night like..go to the park and shit..but..toy with me. He would tie me up..and stare at me..his black eyes never revealing a hint of emotion..except when he grinned..but that was enough alone for me..his teeth are like..molded into what lips he may or may not have...like some kind of vicious fish would have.. but it was crazy because he wasnt a fish.. he was my own creation.. after he finished playing with me hed stab me with his fingers..his razor sharp fingers.. and he would listen to me scream..and smile..like he enjoyed making me suffer..

The few nights I didn't dream at all..id wake up..in pain. I must have clawed at myself in my sleep.

The more I met with this monster... the more he wore on me..I finally grew accustomed to his ways.. which didn't make him happy...he would roar in my face the most unearthly sounds.. if you could see anything in the blackness of his eyes..it would be yourself..

Finally..I had enough..I fought back..in my dreams he would try the same things..burning me alive..ripping me apart..anything he could think of...I fought back..screamed at him..of course it did nothing..he was physically stronger than anything ive ever felt.. after weeks of trying to fight him..came a night..I screamed in his face..but what came out of my mouth wasnt my own scream..it sounded like his..almost just as monstrous..

A few days passed with no dreams..more clawing. I named him, Greeive. My tormentor of reality. I couldn't go to classes anymore..because I would have these feelings...of indescribable rage..a hate ive never experienced..it was always overwhelming..I would curl up in the bathroom for several hours each day..

Finally I met him again..I knew he was the one responsible for this..
I screamed and fought him..I actually had him tied up...where did his strength go? I laughed as I stabbed him with everything I could find..the madness consumdd me..it was a hysterical laugh but..insane nonetheless. I lit him ablaze..and realized my voice wasnt my own..I looked at my hands...they were gone.replaced by these pale claws..I had seen them before..

I looked up at him..and he was gone..but I..was up there..screaming..And this..brought me joy...a feeling of empowerment. I felt my face..my nose wasnt there..just two slits ..my hair was longer than it was before..too my shoulders now.. groomed..but messy.. my clothes..I wore a dark grey suit.. that was tattered aand dirty.. but my hands..then I remembered..I turned and ...there he was...staring me down..as his demonic mouth formed a sick grin..I looked into his eyes...and saw...his face..my face was gone..I was him.. I became him.
He put his hand on my shoulder..and spoke in a voice...that sounded as if a hundred souls of the damned were speaking at once...
"Embrace me, the feelings inside you, embrace the darkness that begs for you. Become one with me."

Since then..I haven't seen him..5 years gone..5 years of violence
I became him..he was there when no one was..to pick me back up..to put me together.. I destroyed everything in my path..tore apart peoples lives..hurt so many.

Recently I took a peace oath.. I sought to forgive myself..and everything..for those two years of hell..being tortured..not just in my dreams..but bullied..beaten...cut. everything a human being could do to another without killing them....

After that peace oath.. I leave the darkness behind me..I will not let my past haunt me for another 5 years..or even another day...
My only worry..
...
My only fear..

What If he...
What if Greeive comes back for me...