not ready

I already see a trend in my blog post and this is only the second one. College is just a hot topic in my life at the moment.

I sort of had an emotional break down while taking a shower last night. I just stood there and cried. And then went and called my mom. I don't know why I did; it just happened. She kept asking if something had happened but nothing did. I was just upset and needed to talk. Though, that's not what happened. I ended up just crying over the phone to her, not really saying anything except, "I don't know what to do."

The sad thing is, I've only been in college for three weeks. Barely. If I'm feeling like I don't belong in college after three weeks, how am going to feel in three years? I just feel like this whole college thing happened way before I was ready. I feel like I should have taken a year or so off to figure out what I wanted to do instead of just being thrown into it headfirst.

It doesn't help that the college I am attending has so many requirements you have to meet each semester. I'm at a bible college. We have to go to church so many times a semester, have so many service hours (volunteer work), go to so many small group meetings, topped off with school work. I don't think my mental state was ready for all of this at once. Especially as a freshman.

This weekend I plan on going home and having a talk with my mom about all this and just hope to work something out.