Updaaaaaaaate on my life..

I am so fucking happy. I have a good amount of friends; five really close ones that I can trust and depend on and the few at school that I hang out with and laugh with and joke around with.

I'll start by saying that Makayla and I are no longer friends. It was a long time coming, and I should have done it a lot sooner, but I couldn't take it anymore. All she ever talked about was her new drug addict boyfriend who is kind of insufferable. And when I told her about my problems or anything like that, she just ignored me and talked about him. It all came to a head when I tried to trick her as a joke into thinking I was dating Calum Hood, and the first thing she said was "He looks like Chris only Chris is more attractive." That's when I flipped my shit, really, and we're no longer friends. I've found I'm a lot happier now than I was before.

My very best friend is Austin. He is fucking awesome. He's kind of like a big brother figure to me. You know, we bicker and argue and joke around but we're there for each other and we love each other and we tell each other everything. Jodie is something else. That girl is a different entity, I swear. She's so protective and willing to listen and willing to talk, I just really love Jodie and we've been friends since we were little seven year olds playing "Monkey" at school. Kaitlyn. Oh, dear Kaitlyn. She is quite possibly one of the weirdest and quirkiest people I know, and she's fucking insane, and I love her for it. And our serious conversations are never actually heavy, they're always light and funny but rewarding all the same. Michaella moved away to PA, but she still visits every Christmas and Summer which is the best thing ever. I love her a lot, and she always listens to me fangirl, and I listen to her fangirl, and it's just a great cycle. Jordan, dear Jordan. We didn't become close close until he admitted to me that he is asexual and I admitted to him I am bisexual (if you want to put a name to it, but really, love is love and who am I to dictate the gender of the person I fall in love with?). Now, he is my fanfiction beta reviewer guy and he is quite possibly one of my favorite people ever.

I spend my days on Tumblr and Twitter (dylan-ostop.tumblr.com and @ezracid) and basically fawning over Larry Stylinson and keeping up to date with my boys. That's a whole new story entirely, and I really do owe the majority of my happiness to One Direction, to be honest. I think I'm fine with that.

All is well with me. No crushes, no unrequited love, no terrible self-images of myself anymore. One day I decided I was beautiful, and then I was. I decided I was an awesome person, and I was. Really, it just takes looking in the mirror and telling yourself positive things enough times until you believe them.