New Me.

So, I've reached a period in my life where I don't know who I am anymore. I know lots of things about myself, I do but it seems that everything that is important to me has less significance in my life right now.

For the past year and a half I've been obsessed, for a lack of a better word, of one thing and one thing only. You can probably guess what it is and it may seem silly but this is the one passion I found when I was vulnerable. It just... Clicked?

You see, all my life I have tried to find one thing and obsess over it. For some people, it may be sports, it may be something they are good at? Etc etc. For me, I strongly believe I have no talent. (Well, until recently.)

Every age of my life if a new chapter and I've just started one of my biggest. I've met a couple of people, specifically two boys, that changed my perspective on everything I do and believe. I've only known them for a couple of weeks and God, they are my favourite people in the whole world already.

Ever since meeting them, school starting up again and me just... Changing, I've distance myself from my 'one passion' that I've had for a year and a half.

It wasn't until yesterday when I finally and officially realized that, I don't care.

These boys taught me to not care. To let life just play out. Hakuna Matata.

(I actually think I realized that I lost all my passion when one of them said My Chemical Romance who?)

So, the main reason for this longish blog.

This firey passion I've felt so strongly for such a long time has finally dimmed. I feel like wow, this is over. It's really over. As much as I know I love them, I also know I'll never feel as strongly for them again. I feel a great loss and upset because it was such a great part of my life and I have to let go. Honestly, I don't want to let go. I wanna try and make my life what it used to be, experience all the feelings again. But I can't. It's just a memory now. As hard as it may be, I have to let go.

I've deleted all my photos because they are all on google, I've deleted all my bookmarked fanfiction because I can always find them again. I took down my posters and put them in a safe place because the pervious chapter in my life is over and it was a great ride. I still love these things, I just need to put them aside for a little while so I can find my own passion.

As for who I really am, I have no clue. I have a long time to figure out but for now, I'm going to stick to something I know I'll never regret having passion for. Writing.

I've started an original fic. I'm not going to lie, it's sketchy but all the ideas are genius. When I'm finished, I'll make sure to post it on here!

As for my other fics, I feel so uninspired. It's like I'm scrambling to make ends meet just to satisfy everyone with a half ass update. That's not fair for you, it's not fair for me. I will try to finish everything I've started but I can't promise anything soon.

Can't stop, won't stop, probably should stop.
-Adam.

Lots of love,
Addie.