Great diet & exercise =/= improved mental health

meaning, it's not a linear correlation. although it may be a strong slope, people are more complicated than that 1-2-3 thinking.

i thought this would do it for me. because it makes sense, right? you eat clean, exercise 5-6 times a week, and keep this up for a while and you'll start to feel better about yourself and your body; it sounds so easy, like something i could slide right into and feel better about myself.

~two months later, nearly 10 pounds down, ~6 pounds away from being classified as underweight, & my relationship with my body remains atrocious. i look like i'm 15 pounds heavier, i can still see all these imperfections that drive me crazy, and i still feel as fat & ugly & disgusting as i did when i was at my highest weight and starving.

and it's driving me fucking insane, how i still feel this way and the other two people im doing this with are starting to feel better & stronger & more determined. my mental health remains shit. i dont even know what im doing wrong; i give myself motivation, i make sure not to exert ALL my energy into just losing weight, and im still as phase one.

stressed.