Non-Important Stuff

So... I honestly don't even know why I want to attempt at writing a blog on here cause I really don't expect anyone to read it nor comment on it (because I automatically assume no one cares what I have to say, how I feel, or what I think about) so technically it's really a waste of my time. Then again, I could be writing it for myself. Anyways, I've come to realize that I'll probably never fall in love again and part of me has accepted this and has moved on, but the other half still desperately wants to fall in love with someone and we basically live, I won't say happily ever after because I know there is no such thing, but as close as we can possibly get to that. This side seems to be the dominant one because it wins a majority of these arguments. The side that has accepted it knows that I tend to fall in love with the wrong people and that's why I get hurt or heartbroken in the end, even if I knew before it was serious that it was going to end badly, the dominant side just wouldn't let me say no. Plus when I'm in love I give too much of myself to that person. I'm completely in love with them. They're my world and everything in between. It's rather sad, actually. Ahhhh.... well enough of that sappy shit.

That's another problem I have; I'm too nice. I have a soft heart and I don't like being mean to people, even if they're mean to me. I kind of just back away from them or cry (really embarrassing, but whatever) because they've hurt my feelings or because I don't know what else to do. Sometimes I cry because my emotions have overwhelmed me and that's the only relief from them I can get. It happens though I guess. I'm a weird person and I've come to terms with all of this. I often wonder where I get it from because my father is nothing like it then again he's older so he might have changed as he grew older *shrugs* I don't know. My mother died when I was three so I can't very well ask her. Though I've been told I have her attitude which is kind of amusing cause I wonder if we'd get in fights because our attitudes were pissing the other off. As for my sister, I can kind of see it; she's goofy like me and we've both busted out in random dance in her kitchen before, but that was before we had our "falling out" which really wasn't a falling out to her cause she claims we're not in a fight or anything, however, our relationship as changed. Anyways, my mother's mother is goofy and funny and full of life (though I'm not sure how "full of life" I am). So I can assume that I get all my weird characteristics and all from my mother's side of the family. Most of the family on my dad's side are very serious and kind of snooty and stuck up. Which is fine, I guess, but why not find humor in little, stupid things? Makes life a lot more enjoyable. And I have totally just done a 180 (I don't think it's quite a 360, so we'll go with 180) on this and went in another direction than from where I started, I apologize for that.

I cannot stay on track to save my life. Anywho, I guess that's all... for now... I can't really think of anything else to say other than I'm getting sleepy. 5:45 A.M. came too early and I didn't even have to wake up! My body was like "Haha, fuck you. Get up!" so I did. Bastard, you're not the boss of me!



Goodnight, Mibbians!