I feel like a sh**** student and its only the 4th week of school. I feel so overwhelmed with work and just stressed and I know I shouldn't. I just want to start the school year over again. Try to start the school right like I wanted to. Its my sophomore year and I wanted to do better. I wanted to keep up with my work and make sure it got turned in on time. I didn't want to be absent from any class and I just wanted to get over a 3.0 unlike last year I was a 2.9.
Class is at 12 and I didn't finish the 15 sketches that I was suppose to do. I was going to start them last night but I felt so tired and just fell asleep when I got home. I know I had a week to do them and I know I have this procrastination where I wait till the last minute to do work. I've been trying to stop waiting till the last minute but after y'know school and just coming home doing homework I want to go out with friends or hang out with my boyfriend for a few hours. I'm the type of person that needs communicate at times and usually I'm left home by myself or just left home with my siblings who argue all the time (younger siblings) so either its too quiet or too loud. At times I just want to go over someone's house to do homework but since I have a mac laptop my dad feels that I shouldn't take it over people's houses cause he thinks they'll break it by accident. My major is graphic design which means half of my homework is on the computer.
I feel I'd get my homework done if I go over people's houses. Or even just going to campus and staying at a friend's dorm to do homework but since I don't live there I feel out of place at times. I don't have room in their dorm to do homework. Or I leave some supplies I need at home and it takes me about 20 minutes to get to and from school to my house. I don't know how to drive so my dad picks me up and if he's busy I'll be at school for like an extra hour or two.
I just feel stressed and overwhelmed. I suck at a student and I feel the things I tell my teachers why I didn't finish something (its mainly this one particular class) they see as an excuse. I work now and is tired and they won't care they'll just say other students on campus work and still get work done. I know that and maybe I am just coming up with excuses cause I suck and maybe I shouldn't go to school for this. Maybe I should just drop out my college and go to a community one. It'll be cheaper, its closer and maybe I won't suck.
I feel like no one cares honestly. I listen to people's problem and I'm there for my friends and I always try to be but the one minute I need someone to talk to I get brushed off or cut off. Or they act like they aren't interested and the one minute I say something about they start fussing at me for it. Its mainly like 2 of my friends that do that. I'm sick of it. Listen to me for one d*** second. I've woken up in the middle night for you to talk and the one moment I want to talk during the day at 12pm in the afternoon you say oh I'm sleeping stop texting me. Maybe I should say that to you when its 12am or 2 am in the morning and you're feeling crappy about yourself. I stay awake for you do the same for me.
I should just stop here because if I continue on it will be a long post......
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