Writing insecurity and self critizing.

So, I've been debating about whether or not to delete all my stories, and just start fresh. I have become very insecure and super critical of my own writing as of late. I feel it's a justified criticism because some, if not most, of my writing from a few years ago left a lot to be desired. Hell, some of it from a few months ago sucks as well. I've looked back at those stories, some of which are still posted here, and I cringe. I just don't like them anymore.

All my stories start off promising. I'll be enthusiastic about it, I think it's wonderful, writing nonstop for the first few chapters, then something happens along the way and that feeling fizzles out. My writing becomes sloppy and the plot trails off, it's a disaster and then I have the urge to delete and start again.

The problem is I don't realize its a disaster right off. It's weeks or months later when I start to see where I might have went wrong. It's frustrating because I think I have good ideas, it's the execution that ruins me. Even on stories that have gotten positive reviews I still find issues with it.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them all. There are some wonderful, unique concepts, lovely characters and all, but I just feel there is something lacking inside of me, and my writing. I've become better at recognizing my flaws and overused patterns in my writing. I feel like I don't give do the stories justice, if that makes sense. I don't know. But like I said I've become increasing insecure about all of it.

I've deleted a few stories already that I felt were just...I don't know, silly, boring, uninspiring, and I fear the rest may follow. Rewriting seems the way to go. There are a few stories that are half half way, if not nearly all the way done and in need of this. I don't want to finish those stories just for the sake of finishing them. I feel like I've screw them up too much to finish anyway.

But the problem with rewriting is that it's a timely process, and I've done this a few times before, and wind up with the same problems. I fear I may just ruin them further by trying again and again to improve them. I've lost a lot of confidence in myself and it sucks.

There are so many talented Mibbians, brilliant, amazing writers who really know how to use words, how to create great plots and characters, and move their reader. So when one of my stories don't get a lot of readers or lose subscribers or whatnot, I tell myself that my stories don't deserve to be read anyway, they suck, why would anyone want to read my shitty stories when there are real gems on here.

Ugh.

I know I'm being hard on myself, but that's really how I've been feeling. Anyway. I'll figure it out I guess. Or just give up writing all together.