Dear CM

So I went to see a counsellor yesterday and finally talked about things that I had buried at lest 5 years now. She suggested I write a letter so here goes...

Dear CM,

I am still hurt by the fact that you made me feel horrible the whole time we were going out. You made me feel like I was nobody, whenever you talked about your ex girlfriends, yourself or whenever I would try to talk to you and you would walk off like I wasn't there.

You made me feel cheap when you pressured me into doing sexual stuff I wasn't ready for, especially in public and especially the time you thought fingering me in public was a good way of thanking me for caring about you. You freaked me out when you pinned me down and tried to put your hand down my pants even when I said no.

I am hurt that you weren't decent enough to tell me the truth. That you messed with my brain so much the whole month before and made me feel like I was crazy. What hurt the most was that you couldn't bother to tell me what was going on.

I don't feel normal anymore and I feel like a shell of myself. I have a distorted view on myself and my worth and I don't believe it when people are nice to me. I don't know why you affected me so much, but I really wish you hadn't.

What I am most annoyed about is the fact that I cared and you didn't. You pretended like you did and convinced me that you did until all the logic that I had disappeared, the logic I should have held on to because something wasn't right.

I just wish I had never met you so I can feel normal again.