Feeling Inconsequential.

I honestly no longer feel like I matter to anyone besides my parents. And if I didn't love them so goddamn much I doubt if I could keep holding on to this all. I just. Ugh.

I have a really great boyfriend. He's wonderful and he loves me, and thinks I'm too good for him. But that's not even remotely true. He's way too good for me. I don't know what he sees in me. I'm short and "curvy" and a total bitch most of the time. I'm selfish and awful and I hate just about everything about me.

My friends who I used to not go a day without talking to, now go weeks without talking to me. When I invite my friends to hang out they're busy. But they're not too busy to hangout without me all of the time. And when they do hangout with me they don't even realize that it's killing me to hear them go on about all the fun times they've been having without me.

I just. I have lost so many friends. And I'm starting to think that I must really suck if my own "best friends" don't give a rats ass about spending time with me.