Mushy Crap

I don't know how I was convinced to do this but here goes....

Okay, so Friday was legit the best day of my life. I swear. I know it sounds stupid but everything about it was perfect. I had to work on him, to break down his walls. Sometimes he makes me feel like he doesn't really like/love me or he doesn't really want to be with me. But when ever he kisses me, the look in his eyes tells me all I will ever need to know. He does love me. Or at least I hope. Sometimes he is unresponsive. And it pisses me off. But when he told me about himself on Friday, I was smiling from ear to ear knowing that he trusted me to some extent. He admitted that he doesn't trust me and yeah that hurts but… whatever. I love just being around him. He makes me feel like I’m worth something when I am convinced (to the death) that I’m not. He makes me laugh. And it’s nice. I mean, just being able to be around someone and just laughing. No drama, no tears (often), no problems. I love him. I really do. But I wish he would let down his walls sometimes in order to let me know him better. I envy after couples who can be open with each other. Even when I am open with him, he’s just like “cool”. I knew he felt something on Friday though. He told me that he loved me twice and kissed me more times than I can count. He took that damned knife and carved our initials into the tree down by the creek. I felt like crying, I was so happy. I was floating on air the entire time. I swear, I have never been this mushy about anyone. I never know what he’s thinking. But I know where to look. His eyes are his weakness. And to be honest with you, they are mine too. I love how innocent and vulnerable he looks. He doesn’t know it but thats when I love him the most. When he lets down his guard and see “beneath his beautiful, see beneath his perfect” And I swear, sometimes I get this feeling. And it feels like sometimes… maybe just maybe…. he’s the one. <3