My life is a fucking soap opera. I feel like this shit should be taped and put on MTV. My best friend is crying right now and her boyfriend (?) is looking like he wants to do the same.
My shit is the same as always. I over think shit. He deserves better than me. He could get better than me. He is probably going to break up with me at some point. I can just tell. I was never anyone's first choice to date and I mean... I still am not. I want to kiss him and I'm fucking dying cause it has been fucking 5 days. Holy fucking shit. Sexual frustration level 9999. I swear. I know I act like I don't like it when he grabs my ass, or anything else for that matter... but I happen to... And right about now.... That boy is going to get jumped today if he doesn't kiss me. Kissing him is one of the only things that can make me really smile anymore. Whenever I am around him..... I can't help it. I just smile without even realizing it. And I mean. I die wen he kisses me. I think about it all the damn time. When I'm talking to Storm, taking a test, writing this blog, and it worsens whenever I am near him. Kissing him is one of the only reasons I live. I love the feeling I get... It makes me happy, makes me feel like I am worth something.
But then the idea that he could break up with me right now... it looms over my head and is constantly stabbing me in the heart. I swear, I don't know what I would do if I lost him. Or even if he broke up with me. It is called a breaking point. I would fucking snap. But it's true. He deserves girls better than me.
I guess my life is just a fucking soap opera. But fuck it. I'm done here. Imma stop writing before I get too upset. I mean I am already crying so... bye.
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