So...lately this sucks. Crush, he's so cute!

I'm going to be completely honest, I feel sick to my stomach right now. My best friend since freshman year made new friends at tech and I'm just starting to feel like she's replacing me. I know that the other two girls are better than me, but come on! I've known her for two years and I've always been there for her.

The way I feel right now isn't easy to describe, I get jealous that all she does is talk about the other two when we hangout. Lately she seems to talk to everyone besides me, I can be sitting right next to her and she'll basically ignore my existence. On the bus to tech we always sit next to each other, lately I've been thinking about sitting by myself so I don't bother her...I don't want her to think I'm mad at her...

It really bothers me and honestly scares the hell out of me...I'm terrified to lose her because I've gotten so used to having her in my life and she's the only person I can really talk to. At the same time, whenever she brings up her friends from tech I get kind of, snippy? For lack of a better word, I try so hard not to, but when she mentions them I snap and the one day I actually said, "Well, if you would have stayed at that school you could have been friends with them longer." I don't know why I said it, but it just slipped out of my mouth.

I've always known I'm a jealous person, but it's been getting harder for me to hide it! I feel so bad because I'm so mean to her sometimes and I don't mean to. It's like a natural defense I have, I try pushing her away before she can kick me to the curb...

Earlier this week in my Civics class we got put into groups to do a project. I'm in a group with three guys, one of them is beyond cute and he's so sweet and funny. Only problems is, I have no confidence to say a word to him. He's a year older than me and he's amazing...

He plays guitar and he's got a great sense of humor, I just wish I was a bit more attractive so I could catch his eye...oh well...

Later, Kenzi...
November 8th, 2013 at 02:31am