I can't feel anything.

I have literally just had an argument with my other half and I can't feel a thing. Not because of any violence because there wasn't any but in my head...I can't feel anything.

I feel like I should cry and try to apologise. I am trying to work out in my head whether or not it was my fault or his. Do I feel guilty? Am I upset?

I don't know.

I'm tired if anything. Not the sort of tired where sleep will cure it but the kind of tired where I think i've had enough.

The only thing I feel right now is the need to pack up my things and leave. I want to leave this place behind and go somewhere where I know I will eventually settle.

Has my past affected my ability to settle and to trust? Yes, but something is making me stay.

Has he pushed me too far? Probably.

He told me to get over it and that I am ruining it. Ruining what? Our relationship because I didn't sit by and let him treat me like an idiot?

I should apologise for bringing the argument in front of his friend? Pot. Kettle. Black.

He treats me like I am a child sometimes and I am sick of it.

Okay, now I feel anger. Yep, that's it. I am angry to the point I want to scream but this overcoming numbness won't let me.

Do I end it at that or do I try again?

I just don't know. Right now the feeling of just leaving is strongest.

Can somebody just talk to me. Make me feel again??

November 11th, 2013 at 02:19pm