I'm....alive?

Last night, I had a melt down....I felt so sad, so alone. If you ask where my boyfriend was, he's away for the weekend with some friends. I drew butterflies, and I began to cry.
I had nothing to comfort me, and I was scared to live in this depression. I took 3 sleeping pills, each 100 grams. I was almost passed out in my bed thinking "Fuck...I don't wanna really die!!!!!!!" I really felt like I was dead as my breathing slowed. I started to panic frantically. What would my family tell my boyfriend?! How would my family take this?! I started to list good things in my life that made me happy. And things I wanted to do, and would never get to.
I fell asleep thinking and regretting everything that I had just done. I then saw my life flash before my eyes after I closed them. I saw the bad memories, The hardships, my lover, my family, my parents divorce, and a bunch of happy memories.
I really thought I was gunna die. I was so scared. I was scared to die. So many times I wished to die, and now I was afraid. I didn't want to go!
Before I know it, I hear my alarm clock go off for my job this morning at 12 in the afternoon. I began to cry. I was...alive?! God, was I happy! That moment in attempt to die, my body had been fighting the medication. I learned that when I ran to the bathroom, and I puked it up. I was given a second chance. And now I will never see things the same way again.
I want to live and be happy. I want to leave my mark on the world and live to the fullest until I die-- and not by my hands.
So...I'm...alive?
Hell yea! I was happy to wake up to Katy perry Firework this morning. I was grateful as I cried. I was unbelievably happy when I got up, even if it was to puke up the medication. I was feeling so many things right then as my family asked if I was sick and ok. So many things in happiness I couldn't explain!

Thanks for listening to my rant! Love you all! I really mean it :) if you feel lonely, sad, upset, and depressed know it's not worth it. Remember IDGAF, PLUR, YOLO, and I love you. Even though I already said it, I love you all<3