Night.

Every time i walk outside at night, it feels like morning. Everything is so bright because of the street lamps, and my mind is so awake, i cant help but feel at odd with the position of the sun in the sky. And now that it is cold and snow has been graced upon the ground it has been amplified ten-fold. It seems as though as the sun sleeps, my spirit itself is awakened. I thin the lines between what is my physicality, and what is old and past seeking back once more into my mortal bones.

I stare ahead of me at the blank sidewalk and i exist in quite reverence to myself in the universe. In those fragile moments of my mind as this though itself expanded into existence, that i remember my place in the world. I am a mere predator of the night, accepting his place on the food chain. Just as i feel the need to lift my goblet once more, so am i forced into a bodily prayer, almost a meditation, deep within my thoughts, directed towards the divine cosmos and Gaia herself.

The cold slowly passes across my face, but i barely feel it. It is then that i can forget all my worries here on Earth. All my troubles and strife, it is only temporary, for i will die. It is not a morbid, nor depressing thought, but a calm peaceful one. No matter how hard i may try, and no matter how terrible my existence here seems, it is only temporary, and before i know it i will once more be whisked away in this strange land of the heart and soul into another path that i must walk.

I cant explain why i feel this way. Most of the time death terrifies me, but when im all alone, close to my spirit itself, i am calm. Death is not the end, it is only one part of the triangle of existence. Life, death, rebirth. The eternal cycle that transcends time itself. I am but one part of a much greater whole. And i will try my best to do and make good on this Earth, but in the end... i will die and once more will I be at cosmic peace. It is then where i will look back down upon cold corpse and see all the beautiful things that i had missed in my hurrying days of life, and smile at its memories. Where i can sit with all my friends and laugh about my mistakes, and reflect upon myself, before the cycle itself repeats.

My girlfriends nephew, who only knows a few words, has begun to speak the name of her dead sister. From what i hear, he has also been obsessed with an old picture of her. My girlfriends mom brought this up to her while i was there, but i stayed silent. She said she thought that her dead sister talks to him. I remained silent.

Once i had a dream where i was being chased by two men and a large dog, but i managed to run into a sanctuary. As i did i was surrounded by skeletons of long dead kings and warriors half buried in the dusty ground. The dog came up to me and ran in the sanctuary, but now was quite small, sniffed me and ran away. The men went past, but now they were a young boy and girl singing and dancing a song from the prince of egypt. "Their will be miracles, when you believe, when you believe. When hope is frail, its hard to kill". I looked up at the stars, then around me at the carved stone, and pillars upon the top rest fires for light, the ground and the skeletons around me, the bramble and the plants, and i felt at peace. Right there with the dead.

I looked at one of the bodies, and i knew it was a king. He had a golden crown half buried with him on top of his head, and he was gripping a sword with lazily snaked through his ribs. My friend told me that was me, and i longed to join him in his peace.