The Truth About You.

I did something today that many girls are guilty of, which is using the internet to check up on an ex boyfriend of mine. Since we've split ways many things in my life have changed, such as the people I've surrounded myself with, so I've had almost no sightings of the man that left me to piece my life back together.

I don't know what caught my curiosity, but I just wanted to know how he was doing (and if you're reading this and judging me, just stop reading now because I'm writing this for my sake to vent and get these feelings off of my chest) and how life was treating him.

Okay, I guess I do know why I did. Today, I was talking with someone about high school relationships and such, and she was like "You and ___? Wow, I just remember how I would always see you guys and I just thought you were going to last forever. And then I remember seeing on FB that you guys had broken up, and I was so shocked that you two faded away."

Admittedly, that stung despite the fact that the relationship is far in the past and I'm very over that person and moved on.

ANYWAY. Even though he treated me like garbage and the relationship overall left me an emotional wreck, the damages I'm still suffering today, I wanted to know how he was doing. If he was happy, like I am now. Whatever.

So I finally found his page, and as I read some snippets I hit the stone cold realization that although we spent a lot of time together, I never really knew him. And if I never really knew him, I doubt he really ever knew me either. I don't know why this has devastated me so much, but I'm sitting here in tears and I don't even know why. It just makes me so sad, yet all the more thankful for the man that has come into my life and shown me what it's like to love, be loved, and feel the blessings of having such a beautiful, fulfilling relationship.

I don't know why it made me so sad, but it did. It's a strange feeling. Kind of wish I would've never come to this realization, haha.