You suck.

I think the roughest thing is thinking back. And then feeling like you either didn't see them in the right light, or the light you saw them in has dispersed. I think that's the roughest thing. Because you remember so many things about that person to know they weren't always this way. When you were down in the middle of the night and had a break down on the balcony because you wanted to be dead, you wanted to hurt...they where there and they gave you love. They gave you nothing but care and hugs. They were your rock. And that night you laid in blankets at night and watched the stars and talked about everything? All that time that person was slowly drifting. Because otherwise it would have been harder for them to start ignoring you. It would have been harder for them to act so casual. Still not sure if I should be so upset. But I feel like I should. I feel like you decided it was too much work and you just left. I feel like you decided you were better than us and you just left. And I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD FORGIVE YOU BUT I FEEL LIKE THAT WOULD BE ACCEPTING THAT WE HAD NOTHING SPECIAL AND WE WERE NEVER CLOSE. And we were. You know this.