The Reality

I escape from life when I pick up a pen or go into a fan fiction site, to write something, to break free, only why can my life be like that? Meeting a famous person, at a concert or even on the streets. Why can't life be like that? The new year is here soon, and what better way to write my life here, here where I belong, where I don't get judge by the way I look or what my background is, here my home.

1; I tried to kill my self so many times.

2; when I look in the mirror I hate what I see

3; the definition of perfect? I don't know what that word means because I am not.

4; Yes I cutted, today Is my is my anniversary, I have been cut free for one year now, but my scars still show.

5; everytime when life rips me apart I still look at my blade.

6; I think my parents are disappointed in me because I dropped out of school.

7; I fell in love with a guy who just used me and took my precious gift my soul, my heart and most of all my virginity.

8: I have been bullied, called fat, fag and ugly but still I feel that way.

9: I have no friends, non at all, what I consider my friend is my phone, music and you, even though I don't know you.

10: depressed everyday thinking when my life is going to begin, but every morning when I wake up I know its not today.

11: what else is there to live for than doing nothing everyday?

12; to be judged every fucking single day about how you could of been a doctor if you just stayed in school.

13; to be nothing and just be a crack on the wall.

14; to tell yourself everyday, everything is gonna be alright, even though deep down inside you know its not.

So tell me? Do I have something to live for or am I just a waist of time, air, life, happiness and breath.

I am not feeling sorry for myself, I am doing something about it, but why bother when no one even notice that I am here?