Banished From Church || Branded 'Satan' || Life Update

I almost forgot to tell you guys about this.

On Christmas Eve, I was at my best friend's house who's parents are extremely religious and they invited me to midnight mass, so me being me said yes. I'm not a religious person or a church goer but I thought I'd give it a shot because my best friend was trying to be in his parents good books again (that's another story). So we went and I had an open mind for the mass.

When we got there, that's when it all went downhill.

At the beginning: I fell the fuck asleep. THEN my phone blasted Lord, I'll fucking find you. I'll tear your tongue out of your rancid fucking mouth. from Morte et Dabo - Asking Alexandria . I apologised and told them another one of my friends played a prank on me. I panicked okay? I didn't know what else to say.

Halfway through: I yawned loudly due to the fact I was exhausted after not sleeping for 4 damn days. So I managed to keep my yawns on the down low. But it got a whole lot worse, I was getting that thing done where you drink the wine or the blood of christ or whatever it's called. Now I didn't like the taste of it, so I sort of spat it out when I thought no-one was looking and right at that moment them damn song lyrics started playing from my phone again.

That was the final straw.

The priest shouted. "Satan himself walks the earth" and had me kicked out.

I am officially the new satan and I'm sorry but I find it hilarious that my town now believes I'm the fucking anti-christ.

I am done with myself. I can't stop laughing.

If you get offended by this, I am sorry but come on people lighten up and see the funny side of it. Just imagine how embarrassing it was for me. But looking back it was hilarious to see everyone's faces. Everyone hates me.

So, hello there my darlings. I am Satan, yes the real anti-christ ready to make your lives hell and bring up the demons from hell to reek havoc upon this earth, would you like to join me in the fiery pits of hell?