I might be leaving Mibba soon. Not today or tomorrow, but maybe around Spring. | fitness

I might be leaving Mibba soon. Not today or tomorrow, but maybe around Spring when AP tests are approaching and lacrosse season is in full gear. I'm not going to delete all my works or just drop off the surface of the earth and never come back but my anxiety and stress have gotten to the point where I can't even handle it anymore. Writing has become a chore and not a stress-relief and I don't want to feel burdened by what I write, nor do I want to write things that I wouldn't be proud to publish. If I'm going to write - I want it to be for myself, for when I have things that I absolutely have to say.

I've been writing since 5th grade and I love it so much, and I've been on this website since seventh grade, but I'm not sure how much longer I can stay on here. I don't really read stories that much but I roleplay and I still talk to people, it's just that school's getting stressful but i

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anyways on better and lighter notes, I started a healthspo tumblr! if anyone wants the link, just ask but I'm getting serious about shedding the muffin top and making PR's for my mile times, because I want to be awesome in time for lacrosse season ( I really want to kick ass ). I don't endorse cheap eating or disorders (I think those are serious, and not to be taken lightly of when losing weight or trying to get fit) but I AM SO DAMN TIRED OF BEING SAD AND STRESSED AND BURDENED. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF IT. It is all my fault. Yes, it is. I chose these AP classes, I chose these sites to be on (social media and all that) and I chose to procrastinate, but I've been fixing it. I've been steadily doing homework over the break and I WENT RUNNING. It was such a relief, that no one was at the track and that I could run without anyone watching or caring or timing but it was just a stress relief and exercising makes me feel great. Like, I love being sore and I've been ''athletic" since the beginning of high school and I like it that way. I like being happy when I exercise, I like going down a few sizes in pants and not even noticing or caring that much, because I feel good so yeah. I'm getting serious. I don't want to laze around, I want to be happy. If lazing around makes me happy one day, then so be it. But I REFUSE for 2014 to be a shitty year. Maybe this won't be my best year of all time, but I want it to be signicifantly better.

ugh so much ranting, are you guys sick of me yet? Anyways, I started clean eating, tomorrow I'll run 2 miles and some stairs/hills, and do some Ap biology homework, precalc homework, and then I WILL FINALLY GIVE THE LAST OF MY CHRISTMAS GIVEAWAY PRESENTS WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE LIKE TEN DAYS AGO. [ANXIETY INTENSIFIES]

ily if you read all this without wanting to kill me in my sleep

ps i updated memories and i shall update bad things soon because 5SOS AND ASHTON IRWIN YOU LITTLE FUCK [ANXIETY BURSTS BC FANGIRLING]

ugh really this is self infliction

kbye