Well that was unexpected

Welp alrighty here it goes, for the past 7 years I've had a crush on my best friend, I truly thought we'd end up together, think about it, I've loved him since the 7th grade, and now I'm out of school and nearly every day we talk, or hang out, I never told him how I felt because I never wanted to ruin our relationship as friends, so I've kept quiet this entire time. There is one ironic twist to this blog however.. I'll get to that part shortly. I've just graduated from high school (well 2013 actually) and I've had a job for a few months now. during this time I had been planning to confess to him on new years. I thought why not? if worse comes to worse we'll just be friends no real loss... however he beat me to the punch. no he did not confess, like how I thought he was going to... ok now let me paint this picture in your head, you just spent the entire day with him, talking about how many kids you want, possible names you'd want to name them,where you two were going to live together, you even picked out your future furniture, he told you earlier that he has something important to tell you, but it has to be in person. ok you got that? is your heart pitter-pattering a bit? ok, maybe? anyways its the end of the day, you ask him what it was he wanted to tell you earlier, he looks at you with the most serious face and pulls you by the hand into his car, there you two are, alone, with the nights darkness ready to shroud you two in an almost perfect scene, you feel your body tense up while he looks down and back into your eyes, "I need you to take this serious", he says in a solemn voice, your heart flutters, and you feel your hands become clammy you slowly nod your head as you agree to these terms. "I've known about how I've felt about this for a while, but I'm not sure how you'll take it, you're my best friend, and I think you need to know this" you begin to feel your face heat up as you nod again, "you're the first person I've ever told..." this was the longest pause I had ever went through and he finishes his sentence.. " I'm Gay."
you think you've heard wrong, but you continue to look at him with a faint smile and say "alright?" he's silent, and at that moment you feel everything in your body become cold, your smile is painted on your happy mask, he looks at you and says "well?" You look at his face and as if still in shock you say "ok." he still looks a bit unsure but you tell him you don't see him any less, that its just a sexual preference, and there's nothing wrong with it. He's amazed on how well you took the news and says "wow I was expecting more drama.." you shake your head, his mom suddenly calls and that's the sign he needed to go home, you wave him off and walk inside. you go into your room and laugh as you cover your face with your hands, the feeling of warm water leaks between your fingers, wishing it was a nightmare and that you'd soon wake up. because the pain you feel now feels like a bullet though the chest, and to sweeten the pain it was only a few days till your birthday... that was December 20th.
I've come to accept his decision, we're still tight friends, but now more than ever, I see that it might just be me whose just not worth it, I'm 19 now, I've never had a relationship, I've never been kissed, and the boy I've loved this entire time will never love me back. to put it bluntly I've been friend zoned harder than Ross was Rachel from friends~