Life

So life right now is pretty awesome, but it has it's bad moments. I have an amazing and considerate boyfriend. He doesn't pressure me to do anything I don't want to like the other guys I have gone out with in the past. I have an amazing friend who is going to pierce my belly button when I can get the ring!! XD I'm really excited about that..if you hadn't noticed. School is amazing I really don't want to leave and graduate next year because I love it here. But I do need to move on to better things though.

Every night before I fall asleep I think of that mother fucking asshole - the monster that violated me. I really thought I was over it and I thought I had moved on. But now I have a boyfriend and every time we cuddle it reminds me of Chris. I try and block it out but it's hard. I don't want to stop cuddling with my boyfriend so I think I'm just going to have to get over it.. easier said than done. I don't have a therapist right now because my family has no health insurance and we won't for awhile because my mom lost her job. Both my mom and stepdad are not working right now. It's really hard going from talking to a therapist more than once a week for more than two years to not seeing one at all. I had to quit going cold turkey.

I am out of the system now and have been living at home with my mom since September..it's amazing being home again. <3