Does anyone else: know what it's like dealing with a schizophrenic family member?

In my case, the sick family member would be my mother. She's never been "all there" in the head but she's never been this so out of tune from reality. The voices in the walls and imaginary aggressors that she hears and sees makes it hard for me to understand her. She is an undiagnosed and untreated paranoid schizophrenic. (Well how do you know if she's really sick?) Good question, hmm well she's openly admitted that she hears people within the walls, and she is almost incapable of having a "normal" conversation. Making new friends or meeting new people is completely out of the question.

A particular and popular subject she has is victimization. She wants to be the victim or let me be a victim. Her motherly instincts have kicked into overdrive. I'm her youngest of six, so she is probably feeling some sort of pre- empty nest syndrome as I mature and slowly grow independent of her help. Supposedly, I'm (excuse me) gang-raped daily by strangers or weird distant cousins. I've never even been remotely intimate with someone!!! It frustrates me that I can't deal with this. I am unable to control this wave of depression. No. I don't punch walls. No. I don't hurt myself (much). And I certainly never yell at her. I reflect all of my emotions unto myself and it builds up. I have to find outlets for it and recently I've taken to poetry, but there's only so much I can say on the topic of misery. Maybe blogging would help, although I wouldn't want people to be offended by the things I'm going to rant about. Sure I can always make it private, but what would be the use of that. I'm looking for help.

I'm embarrassed!!! I have to convince her that there are no government bugs in the bathroom. She always feels so exposed and continually talks about me getting anally raped. She has a special fear of doctors. I guess a long time ago (like 7 whole years ago!), she went in for a check up and they found a lump. (This is where I roll my eyes.) Since the lump hurt and there was no other way of examining it (you know, with the finger >.<), she came up with the idea that the doctor purposely hurt her. I could go more into detail about that (because its brought up like every two minutes!!), but enough of butt for now.

My mother is extremely racist. She hates: Mexicans, Indians (both Native and Eastern), Spaniards and African Americans (I'm a polka dotted mixture of almost all of those). Every race of person that has angered her in the slightest has become an enemy. STORY TIME: Once upon a time someone littered. A glass bottle laid on the ground outside of a hospital. My brother who happened to be on his way to see the birth of his third child stepped onto the bottle causing it to shatter. His heel was cut. And that was how my mother became the new Hitler to Mexicans. Ya, that's kind of irrational don't you think?

Next time I'll talk about daddy issues.