The reason I decided to do this study was due to my psychology tutor, Karaline, after she discovered one of my folders filled with ideas, notes and many diagrams about my new original fiction story called Fear. I've got 3 people involved with my study, I have two people from the creative writing site and also one person from the same residence as me.
To get started with the beginning of this I did a basic interview with each of my volunteers, all of which will be posted on here.
Interview With Rayne.
Could you tell me a little bit about yourself & what your fear(s) is/are?
Well I'm a teen living on the East coast of America. I'm the exact middle child of seven kids. My parents are divorced and remarried. I have a cat who is my absolute forever baby and I ride horses.I have three major fears. In no particular order they are:
1. If I disappeared (or died) no one would miss/ notice me gone.
2. I have an absolute fear of hearing people, especially my mom, fight/ argue with others; yelling in anger makes me sick to my stomach.
3. That history will repeat itself, and I'll end up being a lot like my mom(who I don't like) and keep fighting and getting divorced and remarried. I just want to marry my one love and be with him forever or at least not get divorced.
As I read Rayne's answer to the above question, I instantly became intrigued by her fears . Her fears are not as common as you may think. Let me explain, a good majority of people have thought about whether they would be noticed an/or missed. This is the first time I've actually ever come across it as being an actual fear. The other two fears that were mentioned can be classed as common but they're also uncommon as well especially in the teen population.
In regards to your fear of whether you would be noticed/missed if you disappeared or died, what do you think caused this fear?
I was very shy/quiet when I was younger and I could disappear for hours without anyone noticing it, then later on when I was in middle/starting high school I worked very hard to be connected to all of my friends and be there for them consistently and if they weren't at school I would call them to make sure everything was alright. So one day I had to miss school because I was sick, and I was expecting my friends to notice I was gone, but when I told them I was sick and didn't go to school the next day they were all surprise and say they didn't even know I was gone. And every since then I'm scared people won't remember me.
How would you personally rate the fear you have of not being noticed and/or missed?
On a scale of one to ten with ten being the worse it would probably have to be like an 8.5 or 9.
I can imagine that being torture in your mind. Would you say that this fear, or any of the other two you mentioned effect your daily routines?
Not in any big way, but like for the fear of being forgotten, it's sort of like a little voice in my mind asking me why I bother trying to plan get together's or hang out with friends if they're just going to forget me in the end.
As for the other fears, they're a little easier to ignore until I hear some one like my mom fighting with my stepdad again and then it hits me full force for a few hours up to a couple days afterwards.
With long yet short lasting effects, is there any form of distraction to help draw yourself away from it (if possible)?
There really isn't anything to help with the being forgotten fear, but with the yelling fear if I can just throw myself into another activity or listen to my music loud enough that I can't hear them, it helps a bit, but I can still feel the tension so I still get sick. With the fear of history repeating itself I just say that I won't get married and have kids, I'll just have my 20 cats, be married to my job. Sometimes I actually believe/ see myself going down that path, but I don't think I could ever stay on it. I want kids at least, not to sure about the husband though...
Staying with the answer you've just given me, you mentioned it makes you sick. Could you elaborate on this?
Well my stomach gets really uneasy and I feel almost nauseous. Sometimes I get a headache.
Going back to the other two fears, do they make you feel sickly? If so, what are the effects?
The being forgotten fear makes me more depressed than actually sick same with the fear of having history repeat itself.
In your mind, what do you think fear is? How would you explain it?
I think fear is an emotion that in a way reflects the enemy inside ourselves. It takes our greatest hopes and dreams and it turns them into our biggest horror, and we as people are mistrustful of that horror as a possible reality. (Does that make sense?)
Like for example an inner ambition is to be the glue or center that holds a group of people together, and so the reverse would for me to disappear without anyone noticing.
Do you believe you can overcome your fears within time? If so, how do you propose you'll do it?
I probably won't be able to overcome the yelling and being forgotten, but maybe if I take it one day at a time I won't have to fear about the history so much. Just by thinking is this something that will make me be like that person? And if it gets hard then I'll take it even slower going day by day or even down to minute by minute if I have too.
That was the end of our interview, but it's not the end of the study. As time goes on I will be keeping each volunteer up to date.
I want to thank Rayne for helping me with this study, it means a lot to me.
Until next time, I bid you goodbye.
- Charlie x