My Biggest Fear In Life is Social Media -- A Thank You is in Order

Wow -- two blogs in one day.

You guys are going to start calling up therapists and recommending my name as a patient soon enough.... ;*

Anyways, this is sort of an accomplishment for me:

Admitting what I am afraid of

I don't have any other "real" fears besides

social media

Sure, I don't *like* spiders and ghosts and whatnot, but they're not keeping me up at night.

Let me tell you a thing or two:

My parents are protective, but I love it. They aren't overbearing or unfair, it's in all the best ways possible. They CARE about me, and I get that, and I love them for it. I've never been allowed to have a Facebook or anything along those lines.

I have a Snapchat just because my best friend and I relish the idea of outcompeting each other for who can make the uglier face.

I have a Twitter just so I can follow New Politics, my favorite band.

For as long as I can remember, I've hated Facebook and Instagram and all of that jazz.

But I never knew I actually *feared* it.

I got an Instagram at 10:07 tonight. I deleted my account by 11:08. I literally had an anxiety attack over it, just finding who to "follow" and what "selfies" to post. But it wasn't until I was breaking out a sweat that I realized what I was TRULY afraid of:

--I didn't want people seeing how many followers I had, who I was friends with, who was friends with me. I feel social media really pushes the concept of judging a person's value in this world by a measly number of followers. Hitler had millions. Jesus had twelve.

--I am incapable of looking at all these perfect girls on IG without making myself feel like poop. Sure, I know from these girl's posts of them posing in little to no clothing, or wearing skimpy costumes, that their opinions of me DON'T matter, but I don't like openly competing with them. My pictures are on the same application as theirs and that makes me, unfortunately, feel awful about myself.

--I don't want to lose my reputation as being the old-fashioned, sophisticated one. On a more positive note, I LIKE the fact people view me as sophisticated. And I'm not saying people who post selfies or mindless love rants are NOT sophisticated, I'm just saying people know for a fact I'm out of my element. The expectations are really killing me.

I'm so sorry for this social media/self pity/late night/adrenaline rant, but after writing this, you know what I realized?

I NEVER EVER feel that horribly anxious on Mibba. Ever. And I think that is incredible. We are a home here. One large, nerdy, beautiful home, where no one has to compete against each other, because we all have something special to offer.

All of you guys are blessings to me - absolute blessings.

I love you to the moon and back again fourteen million times :)