Have you ever felt that you are stuck doing the same thing over and over again? Like you can't just stop doing the same thing over and over again, no matter how hard you try? It is just the same thing over and over again and you are trying to do everything different but the results are just the same.
Well, I'm stuck on this endless cycle of everyday life and I can't stop it. Everyday I sit here behind this computer screen talking to friends that are miles upon many miles away while watching what life there is outside, my country home, continue on without me. I don't have a car or any way of being connected to the society that lay outside my front door. I've been isolated behind these four tin walls for so long that I have forgot how to interact with other human beings. I act awkward and standoffish towards people when I'm in social situations, even around people I know. It is maddening that I can't be the way I use to be.
I'm just tired of being sick of going around and around on an endless loop. I'm fucking done with everything that I'm just about to give up and stop fighting back. Yet, I'm still here fighting my way through life for some damn reason unknown to me. It is like I'm on the edge of giving up then something or someone pulls me back. When I'm ready to leave this world, there is always a magnet drawing me back. Whether that magnet be in the form of another human being or my own second thoughts I'm always draw back to the lighter side of things.
It may seem like things get difficult, but there is always a silver lining to everything. My advice is to stop dwelling in the negative and live in the positive.
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