Putting my identity out there

Hi I guess. A new profile I made. Yea, I do have one on here already, tho I'm not telling what it is. I mean, ugh! This is one that's just personal for me. I can put my identity out there. On my profile I'm identified as a boy. Well, I'm not a boy. I'm transgender....which means I'm a biologically a girl. It feels so wrong though. I don't feel like a girl. Everyone sees me as one though. My parents say that transgenders are confused human beings that are going against God's original design. My boyfriend says the same. So I keep my feelings to myself. It hurts a lot of the time because I can't express myself and I feel like I'm hiding it from everyone in my life. I don't know who talk to or even how to ask. On my other profile I just identify as a boy because that's how people see me and I want them to see me like that. But I need to let some stuff out, so this is my personal profile and I hope a bunch of my from the other profile don't find me here. I hate lying. I just wanna be me. ME. I'm a girl who wants to be a boy. I'm a girl who won't tell anyone. Im a girl that feels sad most of the time. Yep, me. My birth name is Samantha. Everyone in my life calls me Sam or Sami. Everyone on the internet calls me Samuel. Which ever you wanna call me is fine. I don't mind. I made this today to let off some steam and post some stories/poems/blogs that I've had on my mind for a while.

I have only one transgender friend and I don't even know how to confront him about my feelings. I'm so confused. Me and him are close but i can't even talk to him about this. He's already out of the closet and he has experience with this. I...I just don't know.

I'm not afraid of what people might think of me, but I'm afraid if I tell anyone I'll be told it's a phase. I was told that by my parents when I told them I was bi sexual and they always bring it up when I go thro a phase. "Oh honey, it's just a phase! It'll be like when you went thro that bi sexual stage a couple years ago!"

It wasn't a phase. I was straight, but made an exception. Yea I fell in love with my best friend who was a girl. BUT I STILL LIKED BOYS! I didn't find any other girls attractive but her. So yep. My life.

I feel like if I tell someone close to me it'll be weird. Like "hi, yea I want to be a boy!" They already know me as a girl! I dunno if it's just me, but this seems a lot harder than coming out as a gay/les. I'm not saying they have it easy and it's not hard for them! Ugh, I mean that wanting a change like this and having everyone accepting it...it seems so out of my league.

Thanks for listening to me rant. Bye