Foreign object, weirdness of body, and a craving for chocolate? Advice please?!

UGH UGH UGH! who the hell invented fucking bras? Why? Why? Today my stepmom went BRA SHOPPING with me! Do you know how awkward bra shopping is when you don't have any intention of wearing any?! Ugh it's such a foreign object to me. I hate that I'm not 'out of the closet' about being transgender, but heaven have mercy! I hate shopping with my parents. My parents won't even let me go down the boys isle. I feel neglected when I can't. Not only that, but the dressing rooms! Girls chatting about other girls and boys. I feel like I'm in middle school all over again! And the mirror! I take off my shirt and I see the one thing I don't want to see! My small breast! I don't want to see those!
I hate this I swear. Along with periods. God, why did you have to give girls a period? Boys don't have one, so why should we?! I can't even go a moment without wanting to cry and eat chocolate!
I swear on my period I have to make sure I lock myself up so I don't accidentally blurt out something I'll regret. I don't wanna have to explain anything later.
I seriously need to come out! I just don't want to be rejected! Ugh any tips on how to get thro this week?
My parents are also trying for me to grow my hair out again...yay? I mean I have a shaggy boy hair cut and they want me to grow it out. "Oh Samantha, you went thro you tomboy phase now grow back out your hair. You're not a boy"
Well, I wanna be a boy! I'm sorry I disappoint you! Damn it all to hell.
Again, advice?