I don't know what's wrong with me and why people don't want to be around me
Ok yeah I do. I'm fucking weird and awkward and I not the pretty to look at I'm no one's priority. I'm always the second thought or the back up plan. I'm so easily to forgotten and ignored and if I whine about then I'm clingy or desperate but all I really want is someone to like truly love me.
God that sound so cheesy and 2007 emo but no one has ever went out of their way to do something for me or make me feel better. I'm always the one there for myself and that's fine. I don't need anyone but it would be nice to just have those connections with people.
Sometimes I feel like I'm not allowed to have them while everyone else is. I just don't know what else I can do. No one wants me. Okay I'm over exaggerating. Sure some creepy guys send me fb messages sometimes.
All I'm good at is being alone and being a failure...and making people uncomfortable.
You know I've never really had a best friend. I've had people claiming the titles but they all have been either physically or emotionally abusive to me. So no one want to deal with me unless they can hurt me basically.
I don't now what else I can do. i try to act like it doesn't bother me and I'm cool always being alone but sometimes it just sucks. Like right now. It just sucks. It really sucks and I'm trying really hard and it's still sucking.
Sooorry. It's just one of those nights.
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