Ima Climb in Yo Window, Snatch Yo Husband Up

So basically, my exes wife is so threatened by me, that we can't be friends anymore. Apparently, I say things to him that I shouldn't as a friend and I've pushed her buttons so much that she has messaged me, tried to belittle me, made me out to be the problem and ruined the tiny friendship I had left.

Would you guys like to see the conversations I have had with him since he became married? There''s a lot to put up, basically I've asked him about his life, he's asked about mine. We talked for a little. Three months later, we said hi and talked about the cats I work with and stuff going on with him. A month or so later I messaged him with "entertain me" because he can be an interesting person and I messaged that to lots of people that night. He replied with this:

Him: Erm...*Makes out with a snail*
Me: You are into some strange things, my friend haha
Him: Well, he was just...I couldn't let go. I just couldn't. Xp
Me: It's a snail, how did you /not/ swallow it!?
Him: I dunno. It was a very sticky situation.

Wow, you should be scared, all of you. I'm going to steal your man by talking about snails. I told him about a dream I had with him in it where he had superhero powers because he likes superheros, not to "win him back" or anything.

No, but here, enjoy the messages between the wife and I. Naturally, I defended myself.





xxBambi