The Girl Who Floats

I've been coasting by, floating through life making bad decisions, however I just counted them as part of the adolescent learning experience.

I'm 19, soon to be twenty, have been smoking cigarettes and pot since I was 15 and drinking since I was 17. However, I've been coasting by, narrowly escaping trouble. Not this time though.

They say that 'it' was a stupid mistake, and I agree, 'it' was a stupid mistake; but has there ever been a smart mistake. Probably not.

What 'it' was it not of importance. This blog, my story, would be no different if I mentioned the details; the only difference would be that it would be a few sentences, a couple of statements, or perhaps a paragraph or two longer.

They say that worry can kill you. It is a parasite, sucking all the life out of you until you are nothing but a shell of a human consumed by that worry. At that point the butterflies in your stomach have turned to monster, the nerves aiding the worry until that is all that you are. A ball of nerves. A worry-wart.

I have to have a meeting with someone about 'it'. Clear my name, lie my way out. But I have a feeling that this is not going to go as easily as I have been hoping. There are three of us, three meetings, three delinquents. If one messes up the rest are fucked.

At first after the incident, I was rather calm. I was calm, cool and collected. That's what I was, now I am that shell I earlier spoke of. This meeting, which will take place tomorrow, will decide my future in a way. Whether or not I have a strike against my record in college.

Alcohol... it's a dangerous mistress. She can bring you up and make you forget, or she can be a bitch and fuck you hard.

Until and after the meeting I will keep my chin held high, suck it up and accept my mistake. That stupid mistake. I will take whatever punishment is deemed necessary and deal with the consequences of my actions because I am the one that put myself in this position.

This is not meant to be an advice seeking entry, just me venting, clearing my head. Comment if you would like to, however I am not looking for people to tell me that what I did was wrong, because believe me, I know and have since learned from my mistake and stupidity. What once was done, will not be repeated.

Thanks for reading :)