My body betrays me

I wish I was who I was. I am a boy! I am, so why am I not! To my boyfriend, I'm still a girl. I went to check his feelings, and he said if I get a god damn sex change he won't want my anymore. He's ok with me dressing like a tomboy, but a sex change is now out of the question. He doesn't want to be considered gay. I hate myself. He deserves a lot better than me. A girl who shows off her chest and is proud, wears skirts, make up, and makes sexy faces at him. Then there's me, a short boy. He doesn't want a boy. He wants the female he started dating almost a year ago. If only I was one of those girls....I could make him happy. He'd be straight and have it all. I love him so much, but if can't even make him happy. He deserves way better than me. I fear that some girl will catch his eyes. One with long beautiful hair and a femine face and born in the right body. He'll look at me and the to her. He'll consider his options, and choose her. I'm everything he doesn't want. I'm a freak born in the wrong body. I'm ugly and I just wish he would find someone better and fast. Better to rip off the band aid than letting it stick to my skin any longer. It's only going to hurt wose. I love him, and I can't even make him happy.

I'm the worst boyfriend ever.