The Human Complex

One of my favorite writers once wrote, "We accept the love we think we deserve."

He could not have given anything truer.

But he was only at the tip of the iceberg here. If he is right, even in the slightest, then it is safe to say we also accept the sadness, abuse, hate, jealousy, etc. we think we deserve. If Chbosky is right, and I believe he is, then we accept the happiness we think we deserve.

And if that does not say it all, I'm not sure what will.

What if we don't believe we deserve any happiness? It'll get to the point where you've dug yourself so far in a hole you don't know what's up or what's down and yo dig your way to the left trying to find an exit but you're only putting yourself further in.

Happiness is not just a feeling.

It is what stops everything else. Happiness is an immune system, a sleeping pill, a ray of sun light. Happiness is the first snowfall of winter, and your first kiss and the last day of school and your wedding day and it fights all your bad days. It's what picks you up at your first funeral, and first breakup, and second funeral and every breakup.

Happiness is not just a feeling. But we all deserve it. Because without it, everything seems worse. Bad days feel like the end of the world all because we couldn't allow ourselves to enjoy that one thing that would have granted us a small reprieve.

It is so much easier to fall into more demanding emotions. We, as a human race, are so quick to accept anxiety, fear, anger...but at the very idea of even the briefest of happiness we question it. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, we say. This can't be right, we think something is about to go wrong.

It is so hard to believe that happiness is warranted, that it is as real and honest as everything else. Have we deluded ourselves so terribly that we won't allow the feeling anymore? No, instead we take it for granted.

What should give us enjoyment is mocked. We don't take the time to notice the beauty around us or in ourselves. We fight tooth and nail to hold onto our sadness. We forget that it passes, that it is meant to end. We focus on what is wrong in our lives instead of rejoicing for what is right.

We have become creatures burdened by our own complex. We think no further than what we are feeling at the moment, not considering that eventually the pain and suffering will end. Happiness is not a feeling but it is treated like a luxury. If that is the case, it is a luxury afford to everyone.

Our eager hands are too quick to latch onto ephemeral feelings but hastily turn away the slightest bit of happiness. Why? What is that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop. Stephen Chbosky wrote, "We accept the love we think we deserve."

He is right.

We accept everything we think we deserve. The problem is we don't think we deserve happiness.