The Day Seattle Died

So, today (April 5th) marks the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's suicide (we'll call it a suicide because that's what everyone else calls it. You can make your own decisions about what you think happened. What matters is that he's dead). And that's been all over the news because I guess they just found undeveloped rolls of film from the crime scene and whatever. But, I'm not writing to talk about that. Because that's not what matters here.

What matters here, is that 20 years ago, Kurt Cobain died. It doesn't matter how, or who, or why.

The other thing that matters, is that 12 years ago today, Layne Staley died too.

I really wanted to write this not to talk about their deaths. But to talk about the music, and why I, a twenty-two year old who was too young when their music was popular to really appreciate it, care.

We can start with Nirvana. Because Nirvana is a staple. I remember when I was a pre-teen I adored Nirvana. I remember watching the video for Smells Like Teen Spirit on MTV when MTV still played music. I remember that songs influence on my music taste. Nirvana is one of the bands that switched me from loving The Backstreet Boys to loving grunge. There was something about the raspy notes of Cobain's voice, and the attractive guitar riff that drew me in.

I overplayed Nevermind. And then I over played Unplugged in New York. And then I overplayed Nirvana, the album the released in 2002, which was mostly just remastered versions of old songs, along with You Know You're Right. The last song they recorded. I remember the release of that album, and the video. I turned eleven that year.

If that tells you anything about how long Nirvana has been a part of my life, the answer is more than half of it. My Father liked Nirvana, and so the music my father liked I usually latched on to. This included bands like Bush (who are still one of my favorites), Live, and Alice in Chains. I firmly believe I went right from boy bands to grunge.

So, grunge has always held a special place in my heart. And so has Kurt Cobain. And not because he burned out. Not because he died so young and left us with way more questions than answers. I love Cobain because of the things he created. I loved Nirvana because of driving bass lines, and lyrics sung so passionately that it made you ache too.

Nirvana brought me to Alice in Chains. I'm sure of that. Because Nirvana and Bush were my gateway to grunge.

But Alice in Chains is one of those bands that sits heavily with me. You can't consider Nirvana upbeat, at all, but Alice in Chains is still far darker. Full of slow, minor tones, and lyrics called up from the bottom of a pit. But it was the same things that drove me in. Raspy crooning, words that cut through the skin because of the emotion slathered over them.

I have to say, that Cobain is an idol, a pioneer, someone I have always admired for his ability to create beautiful things. Cobain created, because that's what he did. He didn't do it for fame, he did it because it was who he was. And I admire that as someone who also likes to create.

Layne Staley is not an idol. But there is something about him that is so much more accessible about him. I don't know if it's because he didn't shoot himself in his garage attic. Or because he died when I was old enough to remember it (although I don't). Or that there is just something about Alice in Chains that resonates with me on a profoundly deep level.

People keep talking about them, quoting Cobain's suicide note, which ended with a Neil Young quote "it's better to burn out than to fade away". They say that Cobain burned out, and Staley faded away. And it's easy to see why that is brought up. They were both grunge rockers, famous at the same time, born the same year, both from Seattle. And Cobain shot himself in 1994 in the height of Nirvana's fame, before he had a chance to release disappointing albums, or turn into an "aging rockstar". Staley died of a heroin overdose on he couch, after several reclusive years. The found him two weeks later, with the TV still flickering.

And so people draw parallels between their deaths. Indicating that Staley was what Cobain would have been if he hadn't pulled the trigger that day. But I don't think that's true. I think that death was inevitable, for both of them. And I think that even if Cobain hadn't died in that garage on April 5th 1994. He wouldn't have lasted much longer.

That's what happens with heroin addiction. Which both of them suffered from. It takes you, one way or another.

But the thing we need to remember. Is not how they died, or if one burnt out or one faded away. Because those things don't matter. They are both dead.

But before they died, they graced the world with some of the most influential music of the past twenty years.

And, despite heroin addiction, and suicide, and some terrible habits. They deserve recognition and remembrance for what they gave the world.

Because both of them created music that is immortal.

So really, neither of them burned out, or faded away. They are both within reach, and they are both still garnering new fans. They are timeless.

And they deserved to be remembered for what they gave us. Not the way they left us.