Let Her Go

I never really cry anymore.

Not for REAL reasons.

Yesterday I cried because I got really stressed out and I felt like I just kept hitting this darn brick wall that wouldn't just piss off.

But... today, I did cry at something else other than stress. The stress breakdown I'll explain in a moment, but first, the new reason.

Well, I was listening to a load of Birdy songs because I just love her so much and then I randomly but on a cover of "Let Her Go" by The Passengers she'd covered. At first I thought, it won't be nearly as good, but oh my goodness, I was WRONG.

I was in tears, endless tears, because the way she sang the words made my slowly mending heart bleed out for her.

See, my heart is slowly mending because I was fucking stupid enough to break it.

I let myself break.

And my family.

And my friend.

And for that, I'm really sorry.

However, Birdy singing this really spoke to me in a way no other song has ever done before. The only one to come close is "Collide" by this band called "Howie Day".

But this... was COMPLETELY different.

I just saw my whole life flash before me and I know that sounds dramatic, but I did.

I saw my happy moments.

My terrible disasters.

And my change from a reckless bitch of a teen.

To a rather organised (compared to what I was) and kind-hearted teen.

Still, I get stroppy and that, but I hardly ever cry now.

Apart from today.

And yesterday.

And... the day before.

But apart from that...

ANYWAY.

Back to why I got stressed yesterday.

Well, it sounds stupid and you guys probably don't care about my tiny problems, BUT I got stressed because I was looking for the keepsake memory souvenir I got from York and I made a really big mess of my room.

Seriously, yesterday, it looked like a tip.

I'm not even overexaggerating.

But...

I got upset because I just kept thinking "I can't do this. I can't even have the fucking patience to find this fucking thing. How am I meant to be a fucking decent friend, daughter and sister?"

So I cried.

And cried.

And cried...

But then I smiled and tried not to think of it.

Which was hard.

But I did it.

Yey me!

Basically, I'm just trying to say, that when you listen to the right song, it just touches your heart in the right place.

I've never cried like I have today.

And I may never cry like that again.

Because it REALLY meant something.

I mean REALLY.

Like REALLY.

You get the point.

Thanks for reading my brilliantly boring blog.

*BBB*