Let's Talk Breasts

I'm 23, I have a size N bra. This didn't happen overnight, nor was there anything I could do to prevent it. My entire life I have been ashamed of them. My first bra was a hand me down from my sister. It was a C. I was 10.

Let's get frequently asked questions out of the way shall we?

Yes, I was sexually abused, however this happened long before development. I've met flat chested people who went through the same thing. No, it's not diet. In my developing years, I was switched to soymilk, forced to be vegetarian, then no vegetables at all. Then there was no chicken. When that didn't help, no beef products. Nothing helped. They still grew. It can't be environmental because I've moved about 8 times. It's not something that can be explained.

Lasting effects:

Most of my scars are mental. Throughout grade school on into high school, I was teased. I've had my shirt ripped off. My shirt pulled down in the front and had more jokes than I can count made at my expense. I've been goosed so many times. All leading me to be horribly self-conscious. It got so bad that in the girls locker room, they striped/ripped all my clothes off. Then shoved me out the door when the figured out I wasn't stuffing. I dropped out after that day. I filed police reports and as far as I know nothing but a suspension came. I didn't leave my house for 6 months after that. I got some therapy but even she acted like I had brought it myself.

Rude people:

When you have huge breasts, everyone seems to think it's okay to ask about them. At a funeral one time, this lady asked me how big they where, right in front of a casket, then tried telling me don't eat chicken. It's not just one instance either. It happens all the time, and in the most disrespectful places. Most of the time, the advice I hear is to lose some weight. Well, gee, I hadn't thought of that. Maybe that's why I'm bulimic. Either that or diet. If I took everyone's "helpful" advice, I'd be dead. I developed a drug habit in my late teens purely to cope with the pain I felt daily in my back and hips and, if I'm being honest, to numb myself.

Healing:

In the last year I've found me. I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I have ever been. Finally finding a therapist who understood my issues. Getting off pain killers, which meant rehab for that and the bulimia. Getting on a depression medication. I finally realized my whole way of thinking was backwards. No, I'm not crazy. I have a medical condition that is okay to treat. That being said...

What's next?:

A BREAST REDUCTION!!!! I'm going through all the hoops and looking weight safely. I'm ready for this change. Not because someone else wants it but because I want it.