Actually, I was more like this:
Basically, there is a Wes Anderson movie gif for every thought I've ever had/will have. I'm really just trying to lighten the mood in view of what I'm about to say.
I've been debating this for a long while now. God have I debated. Far, far, more than the subject needed to be, and I've finally reached the point where I just can't put the effort in anymore.
I'm done writing on this site.
I'm sorry I've just added to the list of people who have left these past few days. My reasons are not the same, though from what I've read, I can completely understand and support their decisions. Apart from a few silly things that have happened between me and one staff member, I've never had an issue on Mibba. For the most part I have been treated fairly and I've had the most wonderful support I could ever ask for.
My reasons are personal, and in all honesty this has been a long time coming. It just happens to coincide with other events. It comes down to the simple fact that Mibba stresses me out. I don't like letting people down and knowing I haven't updated a story in however many days/weeks/months. That stresses me out, and it shouldn't because this is a website!
However, this website has made me an addict. I spend too much of my day dreaming about ideas and plots and characters. To the point that my personality is changing and I'm becoming an introvert. I was never an introvert. I'm the sarcastic one. The one who goes and orders birthday cookies with messages like 'Happy birthday fucktard'. The one who reaches out to people first. I'm not the observer. There are so many books I could be reading instead of writing an update for a fanfiction I haven't made any real effort with compared to my originals.
I'm sorry if any of this sounds bitchy or patronising, etc. I really did not intend for it to be that way. I just don't know how to word all of this so I'm typing from the heart without any edits.
There are more reasons of course. One of my closest friends is moving away next month and I want to spend as much time with her as I can. My best friend is moving back to London in September and I want to go with her. Though that means working my butt off to save as much as possible between then and now.
I've tried to damn hard to carry on. To at least stick around to finish something, but it's just so mentally tiring. I've tried so many different things to fix the issue. Including a hiatus a month or so back, and putting certain things on hold. But the issue, ultimately, is me. Especially when I know that instead of working on four or five stories at once I could be channeling all of my effort into my novel. I've been completely neglecting my novel and I wanted to have the first draft finished by the end of last year.
I'm not the type of person who can produce multiple pieces of perfection simultaneously like a lot of you can. I'm not someone like silk tea. who can write a thousand bloody words in an hour and it's all wonderful. It takes so much effort to transfer the picture in my head on to the page. If any of you read this blog that I posted a few months ago you'll know that I actually do have a mild form of dyslexia. It just makes everything that much more difficult.
God I feel like an arse for doing this. I just feel that if I don't, I'm going to log off Mibba one day and not log back on. I'm going on holiday next week so maybe when I return in May I'll have a different outlook. In all honesty, I can't see that happening because like I said, I've already tried a hiatus.
This really makes it sound dramatic. Like I'm breaking up with Mibba and I'm just going to disappear. That's definitely not the case! I'll still be on a couple of times a week to read the stories I'm subscribed to and talk to whoever still wants to! And I shall be here for my writing buddies or whichever mad person wants my help with something. I will more than likely still post the odd one shot. Though I have taken down most of my stories. I've only left up a few which were written for lovely mibbians,and my Avengers series.
I love each and every one of you. Thank you for listening to all of my whiney blogs over the years. Thank you for making Mibba my home from home. Thank you for helping me develop my ideas and improve my writing in more ways than you can possibly know.
Whoa, this got really lame, really quickly. Here we go
And possibly my last Kit gif.
