Oh God, Why Am I Minoring in Chemistry?

So as a biology major, I have to take a lot of chemistry classes. Let me just say this: if I had known being a doctor involved so much chemistry, I would have talked myself out of wanting to be doctor when I was like ten. But I didn't, and now I'm stuck with it. But jeez, why is chemistry so hard? I failed the class last semester because I just didn't understand the material (especially the last test and the final; I made a 49% on both), and now I'm stuck on the same shit! Ugh. And this is only the FIRST CLASS of the chemistry classes I have to take. What am I gonna do when I get to the second semester of this class? Or harder classes like Organic Chem or Biochem?

It stresses me out so badly, like I just wanna cry or pull my hair out or punch a wall. I HATE CHEMISTRY. It's not science, it's math. And all that crap about needing to know it for medicine? Yeah, I honestly don't think I'm gonna need to know the change in enthalpy for a reaction or the amount of energy in a photon to treat children or people in the emergency room. They need to teach us things like how to stand for 36 hours straight or how to think on our feet.

And what's worse, I already have an anxiety disorder, and this whole chemistry fiasco isn't helping. I can't relax at all until this semester is over. Which means that in less than two weeks, I'll have ANOTHER exam in chemistry, which will be comprehensive over everything we've learned this semester. So yeah, I'm fucked.

Oh yeah, and I'm sick. I have no voice and I feel like poop. This week is just going great.



Life is a nightmare right now.