How to Mop the Ceiling.

I'm that kind of girl that strongly believes in Paris Hilton's motto that if you do something wrong the first time, no one will ever ask you to do it again.

So I mopped the ceiling of my bathroom, not because I knew it was the wrong thing, but because I thought it was totally the right thing.

My mom thinks that my showers are SO hot that the steam is literally melting the paint off the walls (but I just think the painters did a really shitty job). The walls are supposed to be creme-coloured but now literally look like they're melting brown and like poop water dripping down from the ceiling.

Well I'm having a senior sleepover soon and my mom told me to wash that crap off the wall, so as I stood there wearing gloves and holding two rags drenched in bleach, a little idea came into my head.

Mops clean up messes on the floor . . .
. . . So they must be able to clean up messes on the ceiling too!

Right?!

Wrong.

I couldn't find the mop so I grabbed this nasty old one that was outside and soaked it in a sink full of bleach (WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS SUCH A BAD IDEA -- BLEACH IS EXPENSIVE APPARENTLY, AND MY DAD ALMOST SMACKED ME). Standing on a cheap child's chair, I hoisted the mop over my head with this big dumb grin on my face thinking "oh my god I am so smart" as I began to scrub furiously.

Aforementioned, the mop is dirty, and instead of leaving behind these streaks of cleanliness, there are now piles of crap just stuck to my wall. Not only that but the bleach like destroyed the paint or something because it left behind like these harsh streaks that made my mom scream, "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!" when she saw it.

And my big stupid self didn't think about bleach dripping off the mop back onto my face, which is exactly what happened and what drew my parents' attention when I ran crying and fumbling into the shower fully-clothed.

Long story short, the painters should be here tomorrow to cover up my mistakes, and my face still has skin on it. And that's the end of that.