Thoughts at 3 AM.

Today was the last Monday of my first year of college (technically. summer school doesn't count). It feels so weird. I went through my older blogs and I realize that they weren't even that long ago, and yet so much has changed. And other things haven't, and I wish they would. This is just a place for me to categorize/organize my goals and things I hope to have changed in a year's time, etc. I don't even really know. ::tehe:

Goals:
1. Make a 4.0 for Summer. It shouldn't be hard, I'm taking Philosophy, Spanish III, Physics and Human Affairs (a non-mathematical science class? c'mon, Rae, you can do that), Spanish IV, and Piano. I'm really excited, actually. I am eager to learn more Spanish & at least get re-introduced to piano.

2. Make a 4.0-3.5 for Fall. Again, shouldn't be too hard. More Spanish, Stat for Psychologists, Social Psych, Art History and World Lit. I love Literature and Art, and Spanish and Psych are my minor and major, respectfully.

3. Budget my money effectively for the Summer/Fall.

4. Get my driver's license and a car/moped.

5. Get myself a job! If I could work either waiting tables or working in a Psychiatric Hospital/clinic/Counselor's Office that would be fun, even if I was just a receptionist/secretary. It could establish connections and introduce me to the world I will be entering soon.

6. Get my panic attacks & depression under control through meditation, medication, and (if necessary) therapy.

7. Take better care of myself. I'm deteriorating because of my laziness and mental illnesses. I need to exercise, eat right, bathe more often, pamper myself, etc. I deserve to treat myself like a princess. It's healthy.

8. Complete at least one story. Out of 10+ ideas and counting, HOPEFULLY this I will accomplish. ::XD:

That's all I can think of for now. I realize that I am nothing like I had hoped I would be at this age, and I've been stuck in immaturity and a downward spiral because of a dysfunctional romantic relationship, a broken home, anxiety & depression plus my own personal refusal to acknowledge that there are parts of me I should improve. My goal in life is to motivate and help young people with mental afflictions to overcome them and restore their hope. But first, I have to start with myself.

- Rae.