Now I Want to Cry...Crushes

So I posted this blog about him and then he messages me. I was so happy to talk to him and he's being the nerd/geek I know he is and then he starts talking about girls at his party.

And I know that he's on the other side of the world and that being jealous or upset is bad, but....

We stopped talking about them and moved on to me, and for a while, he made me feel special. He said I would love the sushi in Sydney and I was talking about how I would never get on a plane and he said something about how I would feel guilty if he spent $2k and not get on the plane and he brings up how he remembers that I want to travel and we get deep into how I want to run away and then bam...he talks about wanting to go after a girl from the party and I know that I should be okay with that, but I froze, the smile I had was gone and suddenly I want to cry. I asked him how he would plan on going after her and I am staring at the flashing facebook tab not wanting to click it, not wanting to know.... But I guess I have to.

And here I am...he's looking to me for advice on how to do it. And my heart hurts each time the message sound goes off. Because I don't want to help. I don't want him to hook up and be with anyone else. But I know deep down that we'll probably never be together, we'll probably never kiss again or touch. It'll all just be an 11:11 wish....

xxBambi