Anyone...?

My name is Zach
....
I'm just hurting..
I'm alone it feels..but I have both my parents, 3 younger siblings and a girlfriend...victim not happy..
I'm conflicted with everlasting emotions of hate for when my parents sent me away and ruined every chance I had at being happy..

I suffer from depression, high anxiety, PTSD, and mild schizophrenia now..

All I'm asking for is a bit of happiness..
I love my family..but I want the all dead for what they've put me through..

They couldn't begin to understand the abuse I went through when I was sent away

Entirely half my family is either on the run or in prison...the only non judgmental kin I have...are out of reach...the roman catholic side continue to judge me for being dark by nature and posessing and endless pit of rage and hate.

I just want to feel some sort of happiness. I have every right to be happy...but I'm not...

All I have room for is hatred...for everyone...everything..

I just wish people here weren't the way they are...you'd think its about time I found someone I trust and can talk to...
But everyone around me is two faced...in this town its survival of the sickest...I spend so much time trying to get by I have no time to myself...
I just want someone....anyone...

Someone who...understands this rage
..someone who understands the constant indifference...someone who understands what its like to not have. Heart anymore...someone who has nothing left that really made them happy...my happiness died with the child who disappeared at 14 once everyone he knew held him down and cut him up with a sword....the moment they figured out what he really was