I'm Not Crazy [ Personal ]

God, I can't believe I'm posting this, but I am.

I can count on one hand the things I'm okay with about myself:
- My voice.
- My writing style.
- My art style.

It would take me forever to count the things I wish I could forget:
- My face.
- My body.
- My intelligence, or lack thereof.
- My awkwardness.
- My antisociality.
- My inability to fit in.
- And more.

I just hate myself, and I'm not going to rack up some sob story as my justification. Plain and simple, I hate who I am. I hate that I'm female. I hate that I'm five foot six and 134 pounds. I hate the shape of my eyes and my crooked teeth and my fat ankles and my ugly hair and everything else, I hate what I am and it's nothing I can change.

I'm sensitive about only my intelligence, and even my faith in that is beginning to crumble. I can't do a simple problem with algebraic fractions without getting hung up and frustrated at every turn. I can't write anything without looking at it and thinking about how stupid or over-embellished it is.

I hate my body; whether I lose weight or not I still will be ugly under all my makeup. My nose is off-center. My eyes are wide-set and the nastiest brown you could imagine. My skin is very fair, my hair is limp and lifeless and dull, and there's just nothing to love anymore.

Sorry to burden you guys, but I had to get this off my chest.

Take it easy.
- Vechs